I’m a Millennial without any tattoos. I mean, that’s an oxymoron if there ever was one, right? It’s not that I don’t like them, I just can’t decide what I’d want on my body forever, since my tastes have changed so much over the years. My husband likes that; it represents where he was in that stage of life. What I kinda like about that is that it could mark my growth and change, and I really like progress, so there’s that... Buuuut… still, forever is a mighty long time.
The only thing I can think of that I'd consider, because I know it'll still be important to me even when I’m old, is the word “love”. I don't think there's anything more powerful, more of a determining factor in the direction of our lives, a better answer to all the hurt in the world, or anything we all need more than love.
You can never have too much love.
I want to be the best at love. And it’s a good thing to want to be the best at, because it takes all the comparison and competition out of it. I actually want you to be the best at love, too, because then I benefit from it.
Learning about my Temperament and how I’m wired has helped me so much in my journey to wanting to learn how to love people better. I’m a person that doesn’t really look like I want or need people. Straight up, I have RBF (resting bitch face). It’s by nature! Gol dang it! Throughout my relationship with my husband, errybody loooooooves him immediately. Once people got to know me they liked me too, but at first glance, David got all the love. That was until I realized I had RBF, and until I understood where my disconnect came from. I learned that I actually DO want lots of people and conversation and love, I just don’t LOOK like it. I’m an introverted-looking extrovert! Gol dang it again! How freaking confusing that was to me to not understand why once people got to know me they really liked me, but it took a brave person or a certain circumstance to help people get past the RBF. Sorry, guys. Thanks to the brave ones!
Once I learned that, I literally just started trying to smile more. At Target, thinking about my lists which is prime season for RBF - just permagrin through the aisles. Walking around the neighborhood with the kids, consciously readying myself to smile at whoever comes by. They may think I'm weird, smiling while yelling at - I mean, patiently reminding - my kid to get off that person's lawn, but ahh well. Win some, lose some.
That seems like a silly thing to change, but it's begun to trigger a connection between my brain and my face muscles. When I realize I'm not smiling, it reminds me that I need to put conscious effort into reaching out to people to initiate the connection and love that I crave. It reminds me that most people may not know this about themselves - that they may need more love than they get but don't understand how to get it. It reminds me that I can be the one to reach out first, and yeah, be rejected sometimes, but more often see someone's demeanor loosen, thankful that someone reached out and touched them.
This was a big thing for me, to learn what I need in terms of friendships, what I look like, and how I subconsciously come across. I realized the best remedy is to have my focus be on the other person, to like them simply because they are human and there is beauty in them, to listen to them, to actually see them. I've found that if I do that, and they sense that it's from a genuine place, then they like me. Then I get filled up. Every person wants to be seen, heard and listened to, and I want to give that.
Here in lies the purpose of this blog, and of To Boldly Be: I want to help people to know who they are, to like what they see, and then to boldly be themselves.
I really do think that “love others as you love yourself” has the prereq of loving yourself. And it’s really hard to love yourself when your natural tendencies cause you to do the opposite of what you actually want to do and you don’t understand what’s happening.
I want more people to be themselves. I want to help them understand themselves. To work through the things that are holding them back from true love and relationship. I want people to know that they were made on purpose, that they were made beautifully and powerfully. That their presence in this world does make a difference. It doesn't matter if it's to one or a hundred people, because every one of those people needs love, and you may be the person to give it to them. I want to help people to know and live out their purpose, the one that was designed perfectly for how they are wired and makes them come alive. To deeply believe that they weren’t made wrong, but to grow more fully into themselves and be confident living like them – not like someone else.
And this blog is me, boldly being me. I love to come alongside people and help them grow. I love to teach. Nearly every day I wish I had my college room back to teach them something I was learning! So here’s my outlet, and it’s going to be a reflection of all of me, because I don’t segment very well. What you see is what you get with me. I hope to share my thoughts about life, purpose and passion, things that I’m learning about faith, books I’m reading, probably stuff about my kids because let’s face it, they’ve pretty much taken over my life (and they’re dang cute), and I hope to challenge and encourage you. I’d love it if you’d join me in this journey.